Dancing with Should

This post was precipitated by something Manouso said to us at his 60th birthday. "Find something you love, sink your teeth into it and run with it."


The word "should" is defined as: Used to indicate obligation, duty, or correctness How is this concept/word a force in your life? 


We have certain duties and obligations that must be performed. For most of us it is a combination of going to work, buying and eating food, maintaining our homes, tending to our kids or keeping contact with our family of origin. How do you make choices about the places in your life where we are not so duty bound? 

"What is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver  

There is precious little 'free time' in our culture today. We no longer ebb and flow with the seasons and the needs of the land. Everything is 24X7. Does 'should' creep into what you do with your down time or influence who you choose to spend time with? For most of  us, part of our wildness gets locked in a box at certain time in our youth. We strive to be good, to perform as expected, to be dutiful children, and to move along the expected pathways of 'growing up.' There is nothing inherently wrong in this. It creates responsible adults and moves us through some of the important parts of coming into adulthood with our lives in tact. But a lot of us don't regain contact with the unfettered part of our soul - the part of ourselves that is not some manifestation of who we think we should be for other people - but the true naked wildly alive self. This is the part of us we seek on our yoga mat, in pranayama, and in our meditation practices. 


Life is brief and time has the wings of a hummingbird. If I am not careful, I am going to miss it. "It' being the opportunity to really open my wings to span the width they were born to. What canyons do I refuse to cross out of fear? What paths don't I choose because they seem irrational or outside of duty-bound society? What am I missing when a lot of my week is spent getting ready for, arriving at, being at and coming  home from a job that is pleasant but does not feed any soul parts. 


I am not advocating that we all quit our jobs and head for the hills. However, I am trying to find a way to get in touch with my wild mind/self and start to express that in my choices and even over the course of what can feel like a duty-filled day at the office. It can be as silly as a little dance in the office kitchen. Embracing and encouraging more laughter in my interactions with colleagues. Allowing some of the energy that I relate to on my mat to express itself at work and at home while doing chores. It is a process of consciously stepping away from who I should be or what is expected of me by others and really asking myself - who are you in this moment? 


I will write more poems. I will share more poems. I will stop apologizing so much for zany things I say. I will hike more often. I will turn off the radio and be in the car in silence. I will stop and really see the sunrise. I will laugh. I will speak what is in my heart. I will do my yoga. I will seek and cultivate authentic relationships. I will continue to work on presence and battling my false refuges. I will be kinder. I will pet as many dogs as I can.

Open your own doors and let them swing open.