Like a Mountain

Tadasana Looking for my mountain-ness. This week I am like a sand pile in a windstorm. Blown away. Gone.

Today Tadasana called to me. I assumed the pose where I was. Standing in the pose itself teaches me the thing. There is a wavering quality..a constant adjustment of the legs, hips, buttocks torso to keep the pose aligned. I AM movement itself in this most simple and still of poses. There is no locking down. No ability to find stasis even if I grip with all my might. Muscle fibers shift, effort waxes and wanes and the mind drifts through changing waters endless. My mountain is living and dying over and over again.

Is that the point maybe of ALL of this? I don’t know anymore. It is about learning to live and die in every breath we take. Starting and finishing. Renewal and death in every pose. In every moment that is possible. That’s the lesson I think. I am convinced this is not a lesson for the faint of heart. 

As I watch myself writhe, caught in samskara this week, I wondered if maybe instead of fighting so hard to get out of it…I should just relax and be the mountain that moves and shakes but is still here…living and dying.

 But do not ask me where I am going,As I travel in this limitless world,Where every step I take is my home.- Dogen